Kamala Harris left abortion clinic, but her baby didn’t survive

Ms. Harris is the first US Vice-President to have an abortion in American history.

The Can News – Twin Cities, MN

US Vice-President Kamala Harris had a planned abortion Thursday in the Twin Cities, MN becoming the first vice-president ever to do so. Considering all the other past vice-presidents were men and they weren’t pregnant, it really was an historic moment!

While White House officials say they have largely reached the limits of their power to protect “women rights”, Kamala’s abortion has emerged as a linchpin of their re-election strategy.

Before her abortion procedure, Ms. Harris toured the clinic and delivered an emotional speech saying she was doing it for the country, and also because her baby had genetic Anencephaly (a serious birth defect in which a baby is born without parts of the brain – in this case, just like his mother).

“We already have Joe Biden, so I think we don’t need another slow person in the White House,” she added.

“We already have Joe Biden, so I think we don’t need another slow person in the White House.” – US Vice President Kamala Harris.

Photo: Vice-President Kamala Harris being examined prior her in-clinic abortion procedure

When entering the abortion room, Kamala Harris was faced with the difficult decision to choose among the abortion methods available at the clinic such as saline, D&C, D&E, vacuum aspiration, and the abortion pill. After some thought, she decided to go with the vacuum aspiration method.

“I wanted a very clean and quick procedure… When I saw a big Dyson vacuum cleaner at the corner of the room, I said, ‘That’s it!’ It was a no-brainer,” – Kamala Harris said with a cackled laugh.

I wanted a very clean and quick procedure… When I saw a big Dyson vacuum cleaner in the corner of the room, I said, ‘That’s it! ‘ It was a no-brainer.” – Kamala Harris.

FUN FACT: Minnesota has become a haven for abortion seekers since the Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade, ushering in restrictive laws and bans in neighbouring states. The Society of Family Planning, a health research organization, found that the average number of abortions in the state increased by about 76 percent in the year after the Supreme Court decision.

Are you a Conservative or a Liberal? Take our QUIZ and find out where you land on the poli-spectrum

Instructions: Please pick only ONE answer for each question (A or B). Note your answers then determine the results of your analysis at the bottom of the page.

#1: If you were or are a homosexual, you…

Answer A or B (only one option)

A. Quietly lead your life with or without a partner. It’s your being, not your identity. Sure, you might sip your tea with your pinky up or talk with a feminine lisp, but you rarely – if ever – discuss your sexual preferences in social situations. You simply don’t make a big deal about it. In other words, you are a balanced, productive, happy, caring, compassionate and humble member of society.

B. Like to shock people, show them you are something special and demand respect. Everyone must know you are homosexual, a member in good standing of the Self-Victimization Association. You demand legislated respect. Missing a Pride Parade? And miss an opportunity to walk the streets partially or fully nude? Are you kidding? You carry a literal LGBTQ+ member card and flash it in the face of everyone you call “homophobe.” Considering it’s your favorite defense mechanism – even in an argument over a parking spot – the card is used on the daily. Finally, you don’t have kids, but school board meetings are your primary social justice warrior target, demanding that pornographic LGBTQ+ books be included in the Elementary School curriculum. Preferably your own, hand-drawn cartoon flip book at a tidy price of $10 per book. That’s a profit.

#2: If you were or are an atheist, you…

Answer A or B (only one option)

A. Are a non-believer, don’t go to church. You might be wary of religion, but pastors, priests, reverends, imams are just people working a job. To you, they are not the tip of the sword for God in your community. You believe they are servants to their followers; though you shake your head at some of the things “church-people” say. Like, “You played with your rock band at a bar last night? The devil’s music? You know, back in Jesus’s day, we could have stoned you for that.” (True story).

B. Want to go tell it on the mountain, that God isn’t real. Someone mentions prayer in an anecdote, and you want to pull the hair out of your nostrils. “HE DOESN’T EXIST!” you scream, wailing and moaning like you are already in Hell. No one can mention the Almighty One. Government bureaucrats and politicians who use God in their speeches work for the devil you don’t believe in. To you, the Bible is a work of fiction, written in cold, candle-lit caverns by munks with opium addictions. There’s no point in reading it. The language in the book alone is as clear as frozen windshield in an ice storm. Finally, those religious folks; they’re so silly and naive. Who thinks a 2000-year-old cult is still relevant? That’s why you make fun of all Christians, but Muslims are untouchable. They’re reaction to opposition lean to the permanently dead side.

#3: If you were or are a vegetarian, you…

Answer A or B (only one option)

A. Just don’t eat meat. The only time you talk about it is when an acquaintance asks while out to dinner. Even at that, the conversation on the topic is short and inconsequential. When someone asks, “How’s the grazing going?” you laugh at the joke as you bite into a delicious vegetarian pork rind.

B. Make sure everybody knows you are a vegetarian and they should be a herbivore too. Whenever you see someone eating meat, they MUST know that it’s not good for their health, the environment, the moon and some parts of the cosmos. You want all meat products banned, including dogs and the Northern Canadian delicacy, beaver tail. Finally, meat-ban protests in front of restaurants and supermarkets are your only social activities. If you’re not beating meat, you are part of the problem.

#4: If you were or are a black person, you…

Answer A or B (only one option)

A. Know you are black, but never think about it. You have thoughts, experiences and problems everyone else of any color has; work to do, bills to pay, spouses to keep happy, surviving a day of heavy bloating caused by a bad taquito from 7-Eleven. Yes, there have been injustices committed to black people by white society during the world-wide slavery period, but that was a long time ago. It does not affect your daily activities. Like your parents/grandparents, your family has left it all behind since the Civil Rights Movement and aim to build a new, inclusive society for everyone. Your birth-land is North America. You have never been to Africa and think being called an “African-Canadian” is moronic. Two hundred years of generational Canadian citizenship is what you value; regardless of what finely-quaffed, fancy-socked Prime Minister is destroying your country.

B. Are obviously a victim of the white supremacy, allowing you the relief of no responsibility for your actions. Someone bumps into you in the elevator: Black oppression. A banker asks for your credit rating for a loan application: Black oppression. You wish R/C Cola still existed: Black oppression. You apply for every university and corporation holding racial staffing quotas. You think it’s the only way to knock off the Asian applicants.

As far as you know, only white people owned slaves and you refuse to believe they were purchased from Black African tribes. You ignore the fact that in North America, white people were integral to their liberation. Meanwhile, back “home” in Africa, the slave trade is vast and growing. Nevertheless, you are the victim who deserves reparations. “Dollar bills, Mofo.” Your regular use of the victim-card is enhanced by your VIP membership to BLM. All the money you have donated to the organization was used to develop a better society via rioting and looting. The money is not used for BLM leadership mansions, luxury cars and a lifetime supply of Cheetos.

#5: If you were or are a white person, you…

Answer A or B (only one option)

A. Know you are white, but never think about it. You have thoughts, experiences and problems everyone else of any color has; work to do, bills to pay, spouses to keep happy, surviving a day of heavy bloating caused by a bad taquito from Taco Bell. You compete, work and provide for your family despite racist hiring quotas and virtuous white women in high, powerful positions. Sure, it’s not fair, but complaining won’t do anything about it. “Lady-Bosses” don’t speak “mansplaining.” It’s obvious to you that the majority-white population may impact governmental policy, but feel that “white-supremacy” died with acid rain and the hole in the ozone layer. North America, Europe and Australia’s white majority welcomes and interacts with based, productive, legal immigrants regardless of skin tone. It’s more important for you to survive in a squeezed, middle-class economy where bread is now itemized in your tight budget. Race doesn’t come to mind as you ply your trade.

B. Hate being white and you identify as an Afro-Canadian or First Nations. You weep in guilt regularly because your ancestors lived alongside slavery and the Indian Act. Whether they participated in the tragedies is irrelevant. History is lost on you and any suggestion that black slaves were murdered by Africa’s ruling tribes instead of being sold and shipped to North America is deemed conspiracy. You abhor “cultural appropriation” but have no problem donning an Indian headdress or an African tunic to show your support. The colour of your skin automatically makes you responsible for tragedies that happened in 1820. The line of historic racism is drawn straight to you, and you wear that guilt like eyeliner on a third-rate Los Angeles hooker. Reparations are warranted, but that’s for the rich to pay. You’re guilty, but not that guilty.

#6: If you care for the environment, you…

Answer A or B (only one option)

A. Like to fish, hike, hunt, garden, camp and so much more to get outside, all while conserving the environment around you. All trash either stays on the passenger seat of your car or hits a gas station garbage bin. Pissing in a river is not a big deal, but raw communal sewage dumps are a travesty. You dream of building a cabin in the woods and living off the land, hunting and fishing for food. You believe your government fees for hunting and fishing are spent on wildlife management practices that include population control. Finally, you are disgusted by the Canadian government’s method of culling deer; a process that included a helicopter, three marksmen and sub-machine guns. Cannons must be used as flyswatters in Ottawa.

B. Love Greta Thunberg and think she is the most knowledgeable and influential person in the climate change industry. All of your Green Peace, PETA and Green Party memberships are up-to-date, moving you to scream bloody murder whenever you hear hunters legally harvesting an animal. “Meat is murder,” you yell. Other mottos include, “Humans are the problem,” “Leave Earth to the animals,” and “Your lattes are way too expensive. By the way, is that soy milk?” “Climate Change” started in 1900 and the world has never seen such an existential threat. Any statistics showing climate constantly evolving in a rhythmic pattern through its billions of years of existence are ignored. The proof is in a “hockey-stick” graph that looks like someone spilled coffee on it and adjusted the ink. Finally, anyone who does not believe what’s happening is a “climate denier” deserving a public hanging from the nearest old-growth Maple tree. The tree takes its revenge for their sacrilegious ideas and a deadly carbon footprint that suggests you vape methane right out of a cow’s ass.

#7: If you were or are a pot smoker, knowing it’s legal to do it in Canada, you…

Answer A or B (only one option)

A. Smoke your pot discretely by yourself or with friends. It might be a lifestyle choice, but it’s no different than a shot of Whispering Prick rye-whiskey; a social lubricant that isn’t necessarily required in every scenario, but it’s certainly more fun. You may not notice you smell like skunk, but are conscientious enough to freshen your clothes for others who can smell it. Smoking weed out of an apple-pipe is desperate and unnecessary to you. Snorting kief in the privacy of your own office, however, is acceptable.

B. You scream about consuming pot more than you actually smoke it. You have a pot leaf patch on all of your jackets and the tattoo on your back says, “I Bleed Weed.” You jump down the throat of anyone who asks you not to imbibe in public. “It’s my fucking medicine, man,” you say despite being in perfect health. “You think I’m an asshole now, wait til you see me sobre.” Everyone must know the benefits of the cannabis lifestyle. The drug is legal in Canada, so everyone should be smoking it! Those who refuse are probably touched with Downs Syndrome, of which weed also provides benefits with its miracle THC and CBD properties.

#8: If you (were) are born in Quebec, would you want to separate your province from the rest of Canada?

Answer A or B (only one option)

A. NO. The rest of Canada has become a fantastic financier for your French-socialist wet dreams. Giving up that is like throwing out a freshly-made plate of poutine.

B. YES. Canadians hate the French. It’s obvious. They won’t speak the language in Elbow, Sask. so it’s plainly obvious the Quebecois are lesser-than the rest of the country. We can experience our socialist wet dreams in our own country by milking our Laurentian oligarchs.

You are a moderate person who prefers the comfort of a seat on the fence. Your parties of choice next election are the CPC (Conservative Party of Canada), or maybe the LP (Liberal Party). Either way, very little changes in Canada when either one of the uni-party takes the House of Commons.

You are definitely left-wing and don’t know what family really means yet. Your party is the LP, the NDP and/or the Green Party.

You lean to the right, but not too far, making your party of choice the CPC. Remember, you are not a fully-sorted conservative person yet… But keep moving in the right direction and you should be voting for the People’s Party of Canada (PPC).

You lean to the right and you are almost there if you want to become a conservative at heart. Your parties are the CPC or maybe the PPC.

You are very left-wing always seeking government support. Your party is the NDP. The party is run by strong, young vibrant terrorist/separatist Jagmeet Singh. Elect him and all trade with India ends due to his banning in that country. On the positive side, universal basic income and free abortions on Thursdays.

You are a socialist person for sure. You like enjoying the freebies from the government, and working is something that is not in your plans… Your parties are the NDP and the Liberal Party.

You are almost a real conservative 100%! If you keeping going this way, your party is the PPC. But if you suddenly decide that all abortions should be legal, your party is the CPC or the LP.


  • QUESTION #7: No matter if you answered A or B to question #7, you are a pot lover. However, if you have more A’s than B’s, your party could be the Libertarian Party of Canada or the PPC party. If you have more B’s than A’s your party could be the Liberal Party or the Conservative Party. If you have answered 4/4 you are a pothead, and should stay out of politics. Just remember, you only vote NDP if all your answers are B.
  • QUESTION #8: If you answered YES (B) to question #8 regardless of what you answered to the previous questions, you are still a FUCKING separatist! Vote Bloc Quebecois. Considering you don’t want to be Canadian, this Quiz is NOT for you. We’ve just wasted your time. You are welcome!
  • If the RESULTS have shown that you are a conservative, we bet you are going to forward this quiz to your friends so they can have a good laugh. But if you are a liberal you’re probably not reading this far. If you are, fuck off. We know you are already “offended.” Run along now, and tell everyone how bigoted TCN’s content is. Either way, it’s advertising. Spread the word.
  • SUBSCRIBE to The Can News and receive more fun quizzes and polls in your email inbox.

Search for Justin Trudeau has ended, he came out of the closet this morning

OTTAWA: Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau search ends in joy. After several days missing, he was found alive and unharmed out of the closet.

Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and his family have left their home in the national’s capital Ottawa for a secret location as up to 50,000 truckers gathered to protest against the country’s vaccine mandate and Covid lockdowns. Days earlier, he had called the truckers headed for the city a ‘small fringe minority’ before the convoy of thousands of vehicles grew up to 100 km long as it made its way to the capital.

Images above released by the RCMP after the Prime Minister was rescued by a Royal Canadian Airforce helicopter this morning.

“I really thought it was a ‘small fringe’, but when I saw those huge rigs and the big drivers I realized that it was something I could not control. It was the biggest display of manhood and masculinity I have ever seen and enjoyed. I felt attracted to those bearded and muscular men honking at me. That’s why I had to leave town, otherwise my wife Sophie would find out about my feelings towards those guys. And the rest is history…” – said the PM Justin Trudeau.

I really thought it was a ‘small fringe’, but when I saw those huge rigs and the big drivers… I realized that it was something I could not control…” – said Trudeau

TRUDEAU: “It was the biggest display of manhood and masculinity I have ever seen and enjoyed. I felt attracted to those bearded and muscular truckers honking at me. That’s why I had to leave town…”

Trudeau’s International Affair with France’s President Emmanuel Macron

Two hours after PM Justin Trudeau came out of the closet, the Interpol’s surveillance team released intriguing and secret photos of Trudeau-Macron international love affair to the media.

The Devious Art of Lying: The Affair with NDP’s Leader Tom Mulcair in 2016

Don’t Blame Him. The Signs Were All There.

You have two ways to sit down. The men’s way and the ladies’ way…

Fauci: U.S. Forces should not be sent to Ukraine until all Russian troops are “fully vaccinated”

Fully vaccinated and masked soldiers ready to leave U.S. soil

CDC’s Dr. Anthony Fauci strongly urges President Biden to not send U.S. Forces to Ukraine until all Russian troops are “fully vaccinated” and “double-masked”.

Washington, DC: Tensions have soared in recent weeks, as the United States and its NATO allies expressed concern that a buildup of about 100,000 Russian troops near Ukraine signaled that Moscow planned to invade its ex-Soviet neighbour.

During a press conference this morning, Dr. Anthony Fauci – Chief Medical Advisor to the President of the United States said this is not the best time for the U.S. military engage in a war against Russia. According to Dr. Fauci, Russia is not following the ROE-19 (Covid – Rules of Engagement) protocols implemented by the CDC last November. Currently, 95% of Russian troops are not double-vaccinated and 100% of their military personnel won’t wear masks in case of a war.

“This war could be unfair and ugly if Russia refuses to follow the CDC guidelines. Going to a war against the Russians under these circumstances could open the doors for new Covid variants, and put American soldiers’ lives at unnecessary risk in overcrowded field hospitals in the war zone. And I don’t think our soldiers are prepared for this kind of ordeal…” said Dr. Fauci.

“American troops could be decimated by maskless and unvaccinated Russian soldiers even before the first shot is fired…” added Dr. Fauci.

Dr. Anthony Fauci also recommended that in case of a war, troops must keep their 6ft social distance at all times before, during and after battles. “The worst thing that can happen during a war is having our troops coughing or sneezing around the enemies. And if you don’t have a tissue, cough or sneeze into your elbow, not your hands, soldier!” – Faucy commented.

Fauci: American troops could be decimated by maskless and unvaccinated Russian soldiers even before the first shot is fired…

ROE-19 Sanitary Guidelines

As per ROE-19 sanitary guidelines, all military weapons and equipment (except for weapons of mass destruction) must be cleaned and sanitized at all times. In addition to routine cleaning, these armaments must be kept 6ft away from enemies. Shared spaces such as barracks, buffer zones, dugouts and trenches should be cleaned and disinfected more often using surface virucidal disinfectants, such as 0.05% sodium hypochlorite (NaClO) and products based on ethanol. 

The U.S. Department of Defense’s spokesperson told The Can News that they will review Dr. Fauci’s recommendations and the ROE-19 protocols prior to sending the troops to Ukraine. “During war times, “safety” is our major concern…” said the DOD spokesperson.

“Mother Russia’s soldiers will only take shots of vodka, and that’s not negotiable…” – said Vladimir Putin

Photos below: Fully-vaccinated and masked, American troops are following all ROE-19 protocols


Photo: Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau and Dr. Theresa Tam during a press conference this afternoon

Ottawa: Canada’s Chief Public Health Officer Dr. Theresa Tam just confirmed that Canada will be following Dr. Anthony Fauci’s ROE-19 protocols and will not send their troops to Ukraine until all Russian soldiers are fully-vaccinated and completely masked.

“It’s a risk we are not willing to take…” said Dr. Tam.

Dr. Tam went even further to say that Canadian troops engaged in a war will also be required to wear masks during sexual intercourse in the barracks and/or trenches. “You know, casual sex is very common in times of war. Doesn’t matter if your partner is a rank above you or below you, or if your partner likes being on the top, or under… the important thing is that all military sexual partners should wear masks during sex despite the number of partners involved… it could be just a couple of soldiers, or a senior officers’ threesome, or even an army swing party…who knows?”

Watch below Dr. Theresa Tam’s video explaining the importance and effectiveness of wearing a mask during sex intercourse.

Video credit: Ben Bankas – Dr. Theresa Tam’s video explaining the importance and effectiveness of wearing a mask during sex intercourse.

> Click here to go to The Can News home page

Elections 2020: Joe Biden’s TV Ad Targets Swing and Threesome Voters

Watch Joe Biden’s TV ad below.

Joe Biden’s TV Ad targets swing and threesome voters

We Stand On Guard For The Bee, Eh!

We, The Can News stand by The Babylon Bee along with all those who speak out in the face of intimidation and censorship.

* This is the only serious and significant news post ever published by THE CAN NEWS

Shutting down news websites or social media pages like The Babylon Bee and the New York Post is a very serious attack on freedom of expression and free press.

Facebook Demonetizes Satire Site Babylon Bee, Claims Monty Python Spoof ‘Incites Violence’

Facebook is demonetizing the Christian, political satire page “The Babylon Bee” after they published an article satirizing Sen. Mazie Hirono’s comments during the Amy Coney Barrett hearings in a fictional depiction.

Click on the link above to read THE FEDERALIST full article by Jordan Davidson

Dear reader, if you have been censored online, contact the EFF – Electronic Frontier Foundation at https://www.eff.org

In the United States, publishers have a fundamental right to print truthful political information. Equally important, Internet users have a fundamental right to read that information and voice their opinions about it. Throughout the world, these values are codified into the laws of many countries and are included in Article 19 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights:

“Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference and to seek, receive and impart information and ideas through any media and regardless of frontiers.”

BREAKING: Hunter Biden’s Laptop Was Used To Pay Off Outstanding Debt At Crack House

The Can News – Delaware, U.S.A.

Hunter Biden’s laptop computer was left by him at a Crack House as payment for his outstanding drug debt one week before it was dropped off by someone else at a Delaware’s repair shop in April 2019. (Scroll down to read more…)

Crack House in the suburbs of Delaware where Hunter Biden left his laptop as payment for his outstanding debt.
Crack House’s basement where Hunter Biden’s drug dealer was living in 2019

According to our sources, the mysterious man who left the MacBook Pro laptop at the repair shop was Mr. Thomas Giggles, a.k.a. Tommy Crackhead. Tommy was under the influence when he visited the repair shop, and he though it was a pawn shop and was trying to get $1,000 for the computer. The repair shop’s owner told Mr. Crackhead that he would be charged $2,000 to get the laptop fixed, and that is why Tommy ran away from the repair shop and left the computer behind.

“Dude, for real… I thought I was in a pawn shop, not a f…ing computer repair joint…” – said Thomas Giggles, a.k.a. Tommy Crackhead who collected Hunter Biden’s laptop as payment.

Both the computer and hard drive were seized by the FBI in December, after the shop’s owner says he alerted the feds to their existence.

Hunter Biden’s MacBook Pro laptop seized by the F.B.I. in December 2019
One of Hunter Biden’s photos recovered from his laptop in December 2019

Documentary shows why U.S. President refused aid from Australian PM during COVID-19 crisis

A new Netflix™ short documentary shows why the United States’ president refused aid from Australian prime minister during COVID-19 crisis.

© Documentary created by Kacey Baker/Bay Rock Films and produced by Netflix™

Watch the documentary below and find out why the American president couldn’t accept help from the Aussie prime minister.


STAY HOME SAFE  – New documentary created by Bay Rock Films and produced by Netflix™