Sports

Innovative genius X owner and dirty, phallic-headed Brazilian Supreme Court Justice Alexandre de Moraes agree to enter squared circle.

TCN – Brazil

The verbal jabs between X owner and tech innovator Elon Musk and Brazilian Supreme Court Justice Alexandre de Moraes will turn to fists, kicks and submission holds this summer.

Musk challenged the communist judicial despot to a mixed martial arts fight as a co-main event at the Mike Tyson-Jake Paul boxing event in Texas on July 20. The entire card will be broadcasted on Netflix.

De Moraes agreed to the joust immediately.

”Look at him. The flowing robes. The tyrannical glare. The bad bathing habits. The cannibal-shakes. Th-th-the man is a psychopath… “ – Elon Musk

”Only I stand between justice and peace for all equally and the tyranny of freedom,” the 6-foot, 3-inch, 218 pound pimple domed dictator said by translator at an exclusive Zoom press conference held last week.

“I am already pounding the life out of my country’s conservative swine. Mr. Musk is just one more domino to fall, like the weak-willed Mark Zuckerberg. X will be annihilated judicially or by the force of my beautifully manicured, powerful hands.”

Musk has called the phallic-headed jurist “Brazil’s Darth Vader.” De Moraes was non-plussed.

”Outside of some chronic hemorrhoid issues, I am a perfect physical specimen with substantial intellectual, virtuous and homicidal abilities. Plus, look at my power,” he said, sweeping his hand across his office like a demigod.

“Th-th-the guy is a fucking Fruit Loop,” responded Musk, who is expected to arrive to the fight sans “dad-bod” measuring 6’2” and weighing 208 pounds.

”Look at him. The flowing robes. The tyrannical glare. The bad bathing habits. The cannibal-shakes. Th-th-the man is a psychopath and I will end him faster than the heat production of a Space X flamethrower. His Honor’s penis-head will fall from its shaft on July 20.”

The Monkeys Chase the Money

Promoters of the Tyson-Paul affair stepped over starving children to get in on the Musk-de Moraes action.

”Only I stand between justice and peace for all equally and the tyranny of freedom” – Justice Alexandre de Moraes

“The battle of free speech in Brazil will take place in Texas, but also around the world via Netflix,” said Netflix spokesperson, Chuck Ittout.

“In the meantime, this one broadcast will make up for 40% of the losses we have sustained since hosting the ‘Cuties’ documentary, the murky slurry of Netflix Original content and the third season of ‘Family Ties’. Dolla bills, baby,” he said.

De Moraes (right) implemented the action after tipping the electoral scales in favor of current left-of-loony president Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva (commonly known as Lula) in Brazil’s 2022 federal election.

Meeting on the Mat

The Musk-de Moraes dust-up began when Musk refused to manipulate X’s policy as ordered by Justice de Moraes.

The judge had already wrangled control over Meta and it’s Facebook and Instagram platforms, which have since complied with de Moraes’ discriminatory mandates. Brazilian centre and right leaning residents are no longer welcome there after Meta leader Mark Zuckerberg bent the knee to Almighty Alexandre.

De Moraes implemented the action after tipping the electoral scales in favor of current left-of-loony president Luiz Inácio Lula da Silva (commonly known as Lula) in Brazil’s 2022 federal election. A protest similar to the infamous January 6 hoax in Washington, D.C. of 2021 had de Moraes throw down the anvil on every-day, lower middle class residents participating in the event. Almost 2,000 individuals politically opposed to de Moraes and Lula have been illicitly persecuted and placed in the judge’s personally-run, for-profit gulag.

Musk has threatened to enter the realm of combat sports before. An attempt to go nose-to-empty eyeballs with Zuckerberg fell apart last year after Musk’s 16th mistress had the technological prodigy’s 23rd child; a boy, Rufus Plato Musk.

Zuckerberg bowed out as well after missing several doses of his humanizing hormones for his hybrid alien-reptile-Gollum essence. He was felled with Yellowknuckle Syndrome, also known as pissed-pants fear.

Musk is confident his match against Justice de Moraes will fall his way.

”Have you seen the guy? He looks like a raw, skinned ostrich,” he stated. “I won’t lose, but if His Honor rolls in any Jiu-Jitsu troglodytes for help, we have a plan.”

Musk would not elaborate, but there have been rumours that Space X has a new non-lethal weapon in development. The ultra-sonic ray gun makes targets empty their bowels on the spot, rendering them immobile and embarrassed. X users have deemed it “The Shit Storm.”

More than 40 million Brazilians use the X platform which represents 18 per cent of all X users.

Brazil’s Darth Vader, Supreme Court Justice Alexandre de Moraes, also known simply as The Peckerhead among his peers.