The Can News

The Can

The Can - Editor

Editor’s Opinion

Canada/The Can by

On behalf of The Can crew, I would like to welcome you to this website and hope you enjoy reading our stupid articles. Don’t worry if you can’t understand our non-sense humor because it really doesn’t make any sense, unless you are completely drunk or very high.  If you like our jokes and think they are stupid enough, please check back often for updates and breaking news! You can also subscribe to receive our news and updates by e-mail at http://thecannews.com/?p=823 or leave your opinion and comments at http://thecannews.com/?p=199. Feel free to visit our Facebook fan page at  http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-CAN-Canadian-Airhead-News/166368033421884 and if possible, click on the “LIKE” button! Yes, we’ll love it! To follow us on Twitter, go to: http://twitter.com/thecannews Well, enjoy the ride cowboy! Choose your poison, get drunk and have a good reading!

The Can News Poll

The Can POLL – Who or what do you hate the most?

Polls/The Can by

Canadians are known by their tolerance, open-mindedness, peacekeeping and anti-racism practices around the globe. We are very proud of our own qualities, but we are human beings and sometimes we get mad at things and at people. Once in awhile we also have the right to hate something or somebody and we shouldn’t be ashamed of it. Thinking about it, The Can has developed and published the following poll to collect facts and analyze Canadians’ behaviour. If you would like to help us on this mission, please roll up the sleeves and cast your vote below. Be honest, you can’t fake hate and don’t worry, because your vote is anonymous and nobody will ever know that you have a little hater inside you…Come on, cast your vote sissy!

WHO OR WHAT DO YOU HATE THE MOST?

View Results

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What people are saying about The Can?

The Can by
  • “CAN you touch this?” (McHammer)
  • “CAN you fix it?” (Bob The Builder)
  • “Yes, we CAN.” (Barak Obama)
  • “The Can is hot!” (Paris Hilton)
  • “Let’s bomb The Can. It has links to Al Qaeda and Al Capone.” (George W.C. Bush)
  • “Stephan Dion is not a leader.” (Stephen Harper)
  • “I’ll sue this fucking shit!” (Al Pacino)
  • “The ican gadget will be launched very soon!” (Steve Jobs)
  • “Boom, crush. Night, losers. Winning, duh. I am on a drug. It’s called The Can.”(Charlie Harper)
  • “You are fired, Charlie!” (Donald Trump)
  • “The Can is not as dirty as I thought. Thanks for washing…”  (Peter Mansbridge)
  • Going to a gay parade with the Irish PM is something that I want and I CAN! (Justin Trudeau)

 

The Can – CONTACT US

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Aerial view of our Headquarters
Aerial view of our Headquarters

We are located in Ottawa, ON Canada, just across the CSIS – Canadian Security Intelligence Service – building, where intelligence matters. For obvious security reasons, we can’t tell you who we are, but they know who we are… So if you wish to contact us, please send an e-mail to: newsroom@thecannews.com

Our Headquarters - Administration, Newsroom, Washrooms, etc
Our Headquarters – Administration, Newsroom, Washrooms, etc
The Can - Careers

The Can – CAREERS

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The Can – Canadian Airhead News – is a non-profit organization and relies on volunteers’ work to make all this shit happen.

If you are High-Shit Qualified and wish to join our shit hole, please send your resume, contact information and a sample of your crap to newsroom@thecannews.com

We’re currently accepting VOLUNTEERS for the following positions:

> Writers

> Proof-Readers

> Toilet Cleaners

> Shit Throwers

> Animators

> Toilet Paper Designers

The Can – ABOUT US

About by

The Can is a truly Canadian fictionalized and satirical website. It contains mature subject matter and is suitable for adults only. Names used in our stories, unless those of public figures or entities, are fictional, and any resemblance to actual persons or entities is coincidental, unintentional, and accidental. It is not intended to be an actual news source but a source of make-believe fictional stories and CAN, at times, be offensive. The content is also not intended to be, nor should it be construed as defamatory, derogatory, or racist in nature, but should be viewed only as parody. Among several other things, The Can also loves the black & the white, the redneck & the redskin, the immigrant & the Canadian, the jews & the Germans, the animals & nature, the muslims & the christians, the English & the French, men & women, the poor & the rich, Newfoundland & Labrador, gays & lesbians (specially lesbians), the liberals & the conservatives, the handicaped & the handymen, hockey & soccer, beer & hot wings, Canadian rye & coke, etc, etc. Everything and everyone is equal, and thus a fair target. This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of issues of humanitarian humor significance. We believe this constitutes a “fair use” of any such copyrighted material. Any content that is unknowingly licenced elsewhere and the licenced party wishes the item removed CAN contact us, with proof of ownership, to have the item removed. All authors, contributers, commenters and viewers of The Can should not be held responsible for what they wrote, heard, smelled, thought, ate, talked about or read when it relates to The Can.

We are located in Ottawa, ON Canada, just across the CSIS – Canadian Security Intelligence Service – building, where intelligence matters. For obvious security reasons, we can’t tell you who we are, but they know who we are… So if you wish to contact us, please send an e-mail to: newsroom@thecannews.com

DISCLAIMER:

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THE CAN – CANADIAN AIRHEAD NEWS – DISCLAIMER:
The Can is a fictionalized and satirical website. It contains mature subject matter and is suitable for adults only. Names used in our stories, unless those of public figures or entities, are fictional, and any resemblance to actual persons or entities is coincidental, unintentional, and accidental. It is not intended to be an actual news source but a source of make-believe fictional stories and CAN, at times, be offensive. The content is also not intended to be, nor should it be construed as defamatory, derogatory, or racist in nature, but should be viewed only as parody. Among several other things, The Can also loves the black & the white, the redneck & the redskin, the immigrant & the Canadian, the jews & the Germans, the animals & nature, the muslims & the christians, the English & the French, men & women, the poor & the rich, Newfoundland & Labrador, gays & lesbians (specially lesbians), the liberals & the conservatives, the handicaped & the handymen, hockey & soccer, beer & hot wings, Canadian rye & coke, etc, etc. Everything and everyone is equal, and thus a fair target. This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of issues of humanitarian humor significance. We believe this constitutes a “fair use” of any such copyrighted material. Any content that is unknowingly licenced elsewhere and the licenced party wishes the item removed CAN contact us, with proof of ownership, to have the item removed. All authors, contributers, commenters and viewers of The Can should not be held responsible for what they wrote, heard, smelled, thought, ate, talked about or read when it relates to The Can.

The Can © 2011 All rights reserved.

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