The Can News – Head Office in Ottawa, ON Canada

We are located in Ottawa, ON Canada, just across the CSIS – Canadian Security Intelligence Service building, where intelligence matters. For obvious security reasons, we can’t tell you who we are, but they know who we are…


If you wish to contact us, please send us your message using one of our social media channels such as Facebook, Instagram or X (former-Twitter). To access our pages, please click on their icons located at the footer (bottom) of this website. Thank you!


The Can - Careers
The Can – Careers

The Can – Canadian Airhead News – is a non-profit organization and relies on volunteers’ work to make all this shit happen. If you are High-Shit Qualified and wish to join our shit hole, please send your resume, contact information and a sample of your crap to

We’re currently accepting VOLUNTEERS for the following positions:

> Writers

> Proof-Readers

> Toilet Cleaners

> Shit Throwers

> Animators

> Toilet Paper Designers


The Can News – Disclaimer

The Can News is a fictionalized and satirical newsmedia outlet. It contains mature subject matter and is suitable for adults only. Names used in our stories, unless those of public figures or entities, are fictional, and any resemblance to actual persons or entities is coincidental, unintentional, and accidental. It is not intended to be an actual news source but a source of make-believe fictional stories and CAN, at times, be offensive. The content is also not intended to be, nor should it be construed as defamatory, derogatory, or racist in nature, but should be viewed only as parody. Among several other things, The Can also loves the black & the white, the redneck & the redskin, the immigrant & the migrant, the Jews & the Germans, the animals & nature, the Muslims & the Christians, the English & the French, men & women, the poor & the rich, Newfoundland & Labrador, gays & lesbians, transgenders & transmountain pipelines, the liberals & the conservatives, the handicapped & the handymen, hockey & soccer, beer & hot wings, Canadian rye & coke, etc. Everything and everyone is equal, and thus a fair target. This site contains copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. We are making such material available in our efforts to advance understanding of issues of humanitarian humour significance. We believe this constitutes a “fair use” of any such copyrighted material. Any content that is unknowingly licensed elsewhere and the licenced party wishes the item removed CAN contact us, with proof of ownership, to have the item removed. All authors, contributors, commenters and viewers of The Can should not be held responsible for what they wrote, heard, smelled, thought, ate, talked about or read when it relates to The Can.

The Can News – Spreading funny news since 2011