The Conservatives’ 2011 budget died last week when the government fell following a non-confidence vote last Friday, clearing the way for a May election. The Conservatives said their proposed budget would live on in their election platform. Is the Conservative budget good enough for Canadians? What about the other parties? Are they ready to propose a budget which will satisfy the majority of Canadians? We don’t think so. Canadians deserve better! The Can is submitting a few hints and suggestions (see below) to all parties in order to have a federal budget and a platform more compatible with our population needs!
1)- FREE Beer (except for Quebec)
2)- FREE Health Care, Dental & Eye Care
3)- Independence from the British Monarchy and from the American government (don’t worry, God will save the Queen and he will bless America)
4)- If God saves the Queen, Shania Twain should be our Governor-General
5)- Bigger Big Macs
6)- Free Ipads for the boys and free Maxi pads for the girls
7)- New F-35 fighter jets to bomb Bloc Quebecois’ headquarters
8)- Free Condoms (except for Quebec)
9)- Indoors Smoking Areas (smokers pay tons of taxes and need to have a decent place to smoke)
10)- If #9 is not possible, cigarettes should be free.
11)- Less snow and hotter temperatures on weekends
12)- Female Firefighters Calendars for all
13)- Lots of snow for Quebec
14)- Mountains for Saskatchewan
15)- More people in Manitoba
16)- Free Cable TV
17)- No American teams in the NHL
18)- Free plastic bags at the Real Canadian Superstores
19)- Dissolution of Canadian Parliament for good
20)- First Nations’ Casinos in Quebec
21)- No government owned liquor stores (the booze is ours and we don’t need a middleman to control our booziness)
22)- Free Advil for all the seals in Atlantic Canada
23)- FREE Hookers (except for Quebec)
24)- More things to do in Newfoundland & Labrador
25)- Tim Horton’s outlets in Federal prisons
26)- Less rain and less gangs in B.C.
27)- No Britney Spears on the radio and no Fox News on TV
28)- Free cabs for drunk drivers
29)- Canadian citizenship for Charlie Sheen
30)- Have we mentioned FREE beer?