Trudeau’s New Cabinet: As useless as male nipples
The Can News | Ottawa, ON
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced last week the new members of Cabinet following the swearing-in ceremony. The new cabinet is excessively large, useless and not as diverse as you could imagine.
Racial and Gender Breakdown of Trudeau’s New Cabinet
Despite its enormous size, the new cabinet not only lacks diversity but also competence. It may look pretty and colourful at first, but 30 out of the 37 ministers are white, and for that reason some critics refer to it as “white-supremacist cabinet”.
Photo: Member of the LGBTQ2STUVXZ community gets angry after learning that Trudeau’s new cabinet is non-inclusive.
The new cabinet is also male-dominated, including 19 men and only 18 women, and if that wasn’t enough there aren’t any gays, transgenders, pedophiles or zoophiles in Trudeau’s cabinet. Unless some of the ministers are still hiding in the closet (or cabinet). The lack of gender diversity in the new cabinet roster had infuriated the LGBTQ2STUVXZ community in Canada.
“Even my cabinet is more colourful and inclusive than Trudeau’s…“ said Leo Varadkar, Ireland’s Prime Minister (photo)
Who’s who in Justin Trudeau’s 2019 cabinet
The Can News has compiled below some facts and curiosities about 16 of the 37 members of cabinet. We didn’t want to waste our time writing about the other 21 ministers. Don’t worry, even Trudeau doesn’t know all of them.
Chrystia Freakland
Minister of Prime Minister’s Short Term Affairs
Her job is to keep all the PM’s short-term extramarital affairs as discreet as possible.
Bill Moroneau
Minister of Finance & Budget Balances Itself
He wasn’t happy leaving Canada with a $19 billion deficit and now he’s back to make it bigger than ever. Damage Level: Woman’s shopping spree
Jessica Yaniv
Minister of the Human Rights Tribunal, Transgenders & Brazilian Wax
The twisted Twitter celebrity brings a complete package for Brazilian Waxing and vast experience in the B.C. tribunals.
LeNoir LeBlanc
Minister of the Queen’s Private Parts Council
He will be performing this important and difficult task, facilitating all Lieutenant Governors’ jobs.
Cunterine McKenna
Minister of Infrastructure and Communities
As the Minister of Climate Change she couldn’t build anything, but now she has the license to build everything she wants (unlimited carbon emissions).
Inspector David Clouseau
Minister of Justice & Attorney General
A decade ago, meningitis left Mr. Clouseau mute, deaf and blind, making him the ideal candidate to replace Jody Wilson-Raybould.
Bardish Kitchendish
Minister of Diversity, Inclusion and Youth
She will make sure that our youth & children are always exposed to diversity and porn at school.
HairHid Shazam!
Minister of International Defence
Once again, his job is to keep Canada’s borders always open and welcoming, and protect international minorities and refugees.
Joyce Betray
Minister of Digital Government
She is in charge of the deep state and the government’s dark web, hiding all criminal and illegal activities the PM is engaged in.
Jean-Yves Saint Laurent
Minister of Wine & Cheese Board
Chef Jean is also an experienced sommelier who takes care of Trudeau’s private parties aboard the Royal Canadian Air Force jet.
Monalisa Bombardier
Minister of Middle Class Disparity
Getting our middle class even more screwed is part of her game. She’ll increase and introduce new taxes such as incumming tax and bare assets tax.
Pablo Al Pacino
Leader of Government in Hollywood
He is the connection between Trudeau and the climate activist celebrities in Hollywood.
Debit Schulte
Minister of Senior Hoarders
She is the mastermind behind the new tax for seniors. From now on, seniors will be taxed $5 (non-deductible) for every pound of hoarding items.
Climatean Wilkinson
Minister of Environment and Climate Change
He has the impossible mission of fighting a losing battle with mother nature. So he will keep wasting our money attending the Paris Accord meetings.
MarIran Monsef
Minister of Women, Gender Equality, & Rural Economic Development
Her job is to promoting Canadian women migration to rural areas where more development is needed while keeping transgenders safe in the big cities.
Old Red Riding Hood Bennet
Minister of Crown, Bridges & Dentures for Indigenous Communities
Former Minister of Public Health and dentist, Dr. Bennet will take care of our indigenous’ oral health.
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