new cabinet

‘Diversity, My Ass,’ says President Donald Trump

The Can News – Washington, DC

While Americans are distracted with the price of eggs, United States President Donald Trump has brought together the most diverse team in American history. The federal cabinet buries the fatal leadership of Joe Biden, the country’s first legally-dead president to sit in office.

Meanwhile, the Democrats are no longer keen on the “Diversity is our Strength” brain worm. That, according to many, only works among the lower caste. Farm fields, fast-food joints, telemarketing and transport trucking; where diversity really hits its stride. Basically any job that requires 100 per cent time commitment for $7.25 per hour.

Trump’s opposition sees his cabinet through the eyes of their plantation past. Federal Bureau of Investigation Kash Patel, for example, has far overshot his basic innate abilities to run a 7-Eleven in a mid-size, Illinois city. Scott Turner, who serves as head of Housing and Urban Development, is Trump’s first appointed Afro-American in his second term. However, being a Republican, Turner’s skin pigmentation changes upon taking his oath of office. Cancelled.

Director of National Intelligence and former Democrat, Tulsi Gabbard – according to idiocratic philosophy – better serves the American public surfing the Maui waves and selling hand-braided bracelets on the beach. She comes nowhere near the holistic necessities of the position like her aboriginal counterpart, Senator Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren. The latter’s collection of feathers and lucky stones establishes her lineage as an actual “DEI” hire.

And there are more: Secretary of State Marco Rubio, Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer, special counsel to Trump and head of DOGE, Elon Musk. For those looking for the “strength of diversity,” it’s there.

But let’s forget racial and cultural miscellany for a moment. There is another theme running through this cabinet that far outweighs the “Diversity is our Strength” model.

Trump has put together the most competent team in American history, nullifying Democrat efforts to create an idiocracy, otherwise known as Obama’s Wet Dream. The days of “Keep the plebs stupid. Boys are girls. The weather is killing us. Diversity is unity,” are almost over.

Trump’s team rests on a foundation of efficiency, efficacy and exactitude. That is three letter E’s, one step further than a D. Diversity is losing its strength.

President Trump’s Triple-E Cabinet: Ditching the douchebaggery

Scott Turner – Housing & Urban Development Secretary – A Blackman in Da House, so it’s good! Oh no! Not so fast, not yet!

Kristi Noem – Homeland Security Secretary – A Native American, but not like Senator Elizabeth Warren – fake Pocahontas…

Kash Patel – FBI Director – An American-Indian Gujarat who will throw his chicken biryani in your face without apologies!

Lori Chavez-DeRemer – Labor Secretary – Hispanic woman who wants to eat churros and kick ass. And she’s all out of churros!

Tulsi Gabbard – Director of National Intelligence – A Samoan woman and one of the three current or former Democrats with full brain function. She doesn’t need churros. She just kicks ass.

Susie Wiles – White House’s Chief of Staff – First Woman to ever be the USA’s Chief of Staff in the White House. Like her hair, she’s white as snow, babe!

Vivek Ramaswamy – Former DOGE co-chair & political candidate. An American-Indian Hindu who can easily tell you to fuck off. Got it?

Pam Bondi – Attorney General – A white and “blondie” ready to fuck DEI’s spectrum of outlaws!

Marco Rubio – Secretary of State – A Cuban-American sending illegal Yankee wannabes back on a boat to Cuba, Ecuador and parts between. No return ticket.

Elon Musk – DOGE’s Advisor – A white Canadian/South African genius with a penchant for spacecraft and fertile strumpets. Boosting our world population one bastard at a time.

Trudeau’s New Cabinet: As useless as male nipples

The Can News | Ottawa, ON

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced last week the new members of Cabinet following the swearing-in ceremony. The new cabinet is excessively large, useless and not as diverse as you could imagine.

Justin Trudeau pretending he is inspecting the honour guard

Racial and Gender Breakdown of Trudeau’s New Cabinet

Despite its enormous size, the new cabinet not only lacks diversity but also competence. It may look pretty and colourful at first, but 30 out of the 37 ministers are white, and for that reason some critics refer to it as “white-supremacist cabinet”.

Photo: Member of the LGBTQ2STUVXZ community gets angry after learning that Trudeau’s new cabinet is non-inclusive.

The new cabinet is also male-dominated, including 19 men and only 18 women, and if that wasn’t enough there aren’t any gays, transgenders, pedophiles or zoophiles in Trudeau’s cabinet. Unless some of the ministers are still hiding in the closet (or cabinet). The lack of gender diversity in the new cabinet roster had infuriated the LGBTQ2STUVXZ community in Canada.

Even my cabinet is more colourful and inclusive than Trudeau’s… said Leo Varadkar, Ireland’s Prime Minister (photo)

Who’s who in Justin Trudeau’s 2019 cabinet

The Can News has compiled below some facts and curiosities about 16 of the 37 members of cabinet. We didn’t want to waste our time writing about the other 21 ministers. Don’t worry, even Trudeau doesn’t know all of them.

Chrystia Freakland

Minister of Prime Minister’s Short Term Affairs

Her job is to keep all the PM’s short-term extramarital affairs as discreet as possible.

Bill Moroneau

Minister of Finance & Budget Balances Itself

He wasn’t happy leaving Canada with a $19 billion deficit and now he’s back to make it bigger than ever. Damage Level: Woman’s shopping spree

Jessica Yaniv

Minister of the Human Rights Tribunal, Transgenders & Brazilian Wax

The twisted Twitter celebrity brings a complete package for Brazilian Waxing and vast experience in the B.C. tribunals.

LeNoir LeBlanc

Minister of the Queen’s Private Parts Council

He will be performing this important and difficult task, facilitating all Lieutenant Governors’ jobs.

Cunterine McKenna

Minister of Infrastructure and Communities

As the Minister of Climate Change she couldn’t build anything, but now she has the license to build everything she wants (unlimited carbon emissions).

Inspector David Clouseau

Minister of Justice & Attorney General

A decade ago, meningitis left Mr. Clouseau mute, deaf and blind, making him the ideal candidate to replace Jody Wilson-Raybould.

Bardish Kitchendish

Minister of Diversity, Inclusion and Youth

She will make sure that our youth & children are always exposed to diversity and porn at school.

HairHid Shazam!

Minister of International Defence

Once again, his job is to keep Canada’s borders always open and welcoming, and protect international minorities and refugees.

Joyce Betray

Minister of Digital Government

She is in charge of the deep state and the government’s dark web, hiding all criminal and illegal activities the PM is engaged in.

Jean-Yves Saint Laurent

Minister of Wine & Cheese Board

Chef Jean is also an experienced sommelier who takes care of Trudeau’s private parties aboard the  Royal Canadian Air Force jet.

Monalisa Bombardier

Minister of Middle Class Disparity

Getting our middle class even more screwed is part of her game. She’ll increase and introduce new taxes such as incumming tax and bare assets tax.

Pablo Al Pacino

Leader of Government in Hollywood

He is the connection between Trudeau and the climate activist celebrities in Hollywood.

Debit Schulte

Minister of Senior Hoarders

She is the mastermind behind the new tax for seniors. From now on, seniors will be taxed $5 (non-deductible) for every pound of hoarding items.

Climatean Wilkinson

Minister of Environment and Climate Change

He has the impossible mission of fighting a losing battle with mother nature. So he will keep wasting our money attending the Paris Accord meetings.

MarIran Monsef

Minister of Women, Gender Equality, & Rural Economic Development

Her job is to promoting Canadian women migration to rural areas where more development is needed while keeping transgenders safe in the big cities.

Old Red Riding Hood Bennet

Minister of Crown, Bridges & Dentures for Indigenous Communities

Former Minister of Public Health and dentist, Dr. Bennet will take care of our indigenous’ oral health.