FUNNY NEWS YOU CAN TRUST
CANADA NEWS
OTTAWA: Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau search ends in joy. After several days missing, he was found alive and unharmed out of
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Be stylish and ready for your next booster shot…
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THE CAN – The only “Conservative & Patriot” satirical newsmedia outlet in Canadaproudly supports all Canadian truckers and the 2022 Freedom Convoy!
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The Can, Calgary AB, Canada Studies at the University of Calgary, Canada have shown that women across the world have been exaggerating
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CDC’s Dr. Anthony Fauci strongly urges President Biden to not send U.S. Forces to Ukraine until all Russian troops are “fully vaccinated”
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According to recent scientific studies completed at the University of California that were led by Professor PhD. MD D.Sc. D.M.Sc M.P.H. M.S.Chem.
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We Stand On Guard For The Bee, Eh!
We, The Can News stand by The Babylon Bee along with all those who speak out in the face of intimidation and censorship. * This is the only serious and significant news post ever published by THE CAN NEWS Shutting down news websites or social media pages like The Babylon Bee and the New York Post is a very serious attack on freedom of expression and free press. Facebook Demonetizes Satire Site Babylon Bee, Claims Monty Python Spoof ‘Incites Violence’ Facebook is demonetizing the Christian, political satire page “The Babylon Bee” after they published an article satirizing Sen. Mazie Hirono’s comments during
ECONOMY
American Large-Breasted Women Will Pay More Taxes
American large-breasted women will pay higher taxes when purchasing dairy products. President Donald Trump has signed an executive order targeting all women with big boobs in the United States. Trump said that they need to pay more taxes on dairy products because they already have great milk resources, and buying more is not only wasting domestic milk derived products, but also these women are competing directly against the American dairy producers. “And it’s a shame for our local economy” adds Trump. Journalists and other critics of the U.S. government said Trump signed that order to specifically cause financial harm to
SPORTS
TRANS-DUDES: Proud of Beating the Crap Out of Women
The Can News – Ottawa, ON Women fought long and hard to earn equal athletic opportunities, but because of these trans-dudes, young women are forced to be spectators in their own sports. “We all know the outcome of the race before it even starts; it’s demoralizing,” says American woman, stay away from me. (by Lenny Kravitz) Males and females are different – duh! Is it too hard to understand? On average, men have 36% more skeletal muscle mass, according to one study. In general, males are taller, have thicker bones and have greater lung capacity than their female counterparts. Cross-hormone treatment (with all the risks and side effects such treatments entail) cannot fully suppress all these biological
POLLS
The CanNews has partnered with the Newfoundland & Labrador Hutterites Association to sponsor this poll conducted by the BaNanos Research about alienation.
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Canadians are known by their tolerance, open-mindedness, peacekeeping and anti-racism practices around the globe. We are very proud of our own qualities, but we
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