Entertainment

Despite the good looks of Aussie celebrities like Nicole Kidman, Russell Crowe and Crocodile Dundee, the Australian government is really concerned about the image of their aborigines which maybe is turning tourists away. If you don’t know, Australian Aborigines (aka Aboriginal Australians) are those people regarded as indigenous to the Australian continent. The government of Australia have hired 125 American plastic surgeons from the AMERICAN EXTREME MAKEOVER TEAM led by Dr. John Scarface to change the faces of all aboriginals and make that country more accessible to tourists. Government officials said this morning that they are not craving perfection, but only want to let them have normal lives. “We are sure that after the makeover procedures, their appearances will not only affect their self-esteem but also their success and social life. I feel so happy for each person that gets the chance to hand their looks over to the extreme team for a makeover. Some of them were born with defects, in accidents, or are just very unfortunate looking by nature. And it has been proved that good looking people attracts more tourists. Not everyone is blessed with average features and not everyone can afford plastic surgery or dental correction” said Dr. Scarface. Check out the pictures and see how the Aussie government is improving their country’s image. Could you believe your eyes that they are the very same person, just that the right one gone through an extreme makeover process? Amazing!!

THE CAN CONTEST – WIN AN ALL-INCLUSIVE TRIP TO MEXICO

HOW TO ENTER: Write a letter to The Can telling us how many Canadians were killed and/or kidnaped in Mexico in the last 3 years. In case of a tie, those who are related to Canadian victims in Mexico will be selected for a tie-breaker and whoever has the largest amount of relatives who died in Mexico over the past 3 years will win the prize. Disclaimer: Only Canadian residents and illegal Mexican immigrants are eligible to enter the contest and/or win the prize. Chances of winning are based on the number of stupid Canadians who go to Mexico every year, divided by the number of corrupt cops in Mexico during the summer time. Do the math dude and enjoy Mexico!!

ALL-INCLUSIVE TRIP PACKAGE PRIZE: See poster below with the details about this wonderful summer trip.

U.S. Secretary of State Hilarious Clitoris has launched her new self-help book for women called Kill Bill.  The book already is America’s best seller and deals with women’s difficulties in a “male world” .  “You don’t need to sleep with your boss to succeed, as a matter of fact all you need is a stupid husband who gets a scandalous blow job and the world will feel pity for you…then, you become famous, join politics and get elected. As you can see, I didn’t need to sleep with Bill to get to the top, but I might have to put Bill to sleep if I want to become America’s first woman president…” said Hilarious Clitoris in her interview to The Can. Kill Bill is also the best-selling book in Pakistan and has got “five thumbs up yours” by Fox News last week.