Scientists of the Western Ontario University – Animal Reproduction Division – announced last Tuesday that they have discovered a revolutionary contraceptive method to avoid French propagation in Canadian territory. The new contraceptive invention is a cream lotion which is easy to use, has no side-effects and will be available at all Canadian convenience stores next year. The revolutionary lotion is called Son Bloc Quebecois and the bottle’s directions for use will be in English & Spanish only. Basically, all you need to do to avoid a French son is to rub on some of this lotion all around your penis five minutes before sexual intercourse and you, your family and the country will be safe. Tests at the Western Ontario University have proven that less than 1% of the children born through this new contraceptive method have any knowledge of the French language or Quebec’s whereabouts. Over 9% of those kids have developed an anti-Napoleon syndrome and can’t stand the smell of blue cheese. The SonBloc Quebecois lotion will be affordable to all Canadians and can also help them out against those inconvenient Bi-Lingual or French phone calls that they need to press #1 for service in English. According to the W.O.U. scientists, all you have to do is to rub some lotion around your ears before answering the phone and you won’t be able to hear any French words at all.