CRA Partners with Ukrainian Cartel to Ease Flow of War Funding

Taxpayers offered option to pay directly to Ukraine cash hoarders

The Can News – Ottawa

The Canada Revenue Agency (CRA) is cutting themselves out as a cash-flow middle-man for the Ukraine-Russia War.

CRA spokesperson Gimmy Urmoney (pronounced Jimmy, but spelled with a ‘G’ as a first step towards gender affirmation) says the initiative provides Canadians an opportunity to have a real impact on the Ukraine effort in their conflict versus Russia.

“Billions of dollars have been invested in the Ukrainian fight and there’s no sense in stopping now,” Urmoney said “This mechanism for the 2024-2025 tax years allows each individual Canadian to give that little bit more.”

The initiative will allow Canadians to have their taxes tabulated and paid to Ukrainian oligarchs within the Ukrainian Tax Ministry.

Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky (back) is sending 130 Ukrainian Tax Cartel (UTC) collectors to Canada this Spring. They will include superintendents Ygor Pavlovski, Ivan Rubintukkoff and Mike Smith-Trudeau (pictured).

“There is nothing more Canadian than sacrificing food and shelter for the greater good; this time the greater good is Ukraine,” Urmoney said. “Putin must be stopped. Just last week, he had an apple tree killed for looking at him funny.”

Virtuous Canadians can easily participate in the Ukrainian war effort by simply checking the pehrogie-shaped box at the top of their tax return. Ukrainian Men-in-Black agents will reach out before March 15, 2023.

Ukranian National Tax Cartel members protecting their own private bank in Kiev, capital of Ukraine.

Stuart Framer, an Alberta-based mixed farm producer, recently sold his 1980 Ford Ranger to purchase a week’s worth of groceries.

“Putin ain’t done nuttin’ to me and our udders are already dry. Trudeau locked in the tax-sucking teat cups in 2015. They plowed our bank accounts empty four years ago already,” he said.

“What do I think? I think Ukraine has been a drain on the final few cents we all got. I’m certain SNC-Lavalin, the Trudeau Foundation and (NDP Leader) Jagmeet Singh’s Rolex watch collection should hold them over – until Russia runs them over.”