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Popular New York delicacy triggering Trump Derangement Syndrome induced ‘President Meat-Induced Trauma’

TCN News – Entertainment | Cuisine | Economy

A legendary beef steak known as “The Trump Cut” is at risk of being banned in New York City’s deli’s, butcher shops, grocery stores and restaurants. The mere existence of the menu item is causing widespread emotional distress, say activists seeking its cancellation.

The $147 steak is a 20-ounce slab of dry-aged ribeye, seared to golden perfection and served with a complimentary pair of Trump-branded basketball shoes. President Donald Trump personally endorsed the steak when it first came out on January 6, 2020.

“It’s the greatest steak in the world. Absolutely tremendous. Maybe the best ever,” he said. “No other steak even comes close. That’s what I said when I saw it. I said, ‘Look at this steak. It’s so tremendous. Probably the best ever.’ I said that when I first saw it.”

Critics, however, argue that the steak’s shape, girth, exaggerated marbling and orangy-red sheen bear an unsettling resemblance to the President’s face. For some, the image is so shocking, it is allegedly triggering a subset of Trump Derangement Syndrome called “MAGA Meat-Induced Trauma.”

“Every time I see that steak, my libido drops 73.4 per cent,” said Brooklyn resident and pink-haired vegan Skylar Widebutt. “I’ve actually had to go on testosterone and iron supplements to recover.”

City administrators are reportedly taking the ban seriously. A press release on the subject from New York City spokesperson Apple Cinnamenstorm said they had mental health and public decency concerns. Cinnamenstorm said the basketball shoe promotion – besides causing the slaughter of more cows due to the leather – is a “grotesque display of consumerism” that should be reviewed for “potential restrictions due to over-consumption of bovine products and its relation to Climate Change.”

MAGA Meat prices skyrocket with increased demand

Trump provided a response on Truth Social as expected: “The steak is great. The fat is great. The shape is great. The taste is amazing. Why are they banning it? I think it’s too good, that’s why. A steak in the shape of my face is just too good to eat. That must be what it is. They’re losers; weak people who don’t eat meat. Protein is a kid who plays video games for money to these people. They’re stupid. #makeamericameatagain #MAMA”

Meat retailers have experienced a 400 per cent increase in sales since rumors of the cancellation began. New Yorkers are rushing to buy what they can before the potentially forbidden delicacy disappears. Prices stabilized on March 3 at $175 per cut. Should the issue hit city council chambers, their value is expected to jump even further.

“They a-protesting zee meat, but just zee udder day, Nancy Pelosi herself wazz in here to buy tree-hundred (300) pounds,” said one Manhattan butcher who wished to remain anonymous.