Trudeau

Gender Neutral Dialect Could Become Canada’s 3rd Official Language

Canada’s Minister of Diversity, Inclusion and Youth, Hon. Kitchendish MoveslikeJagger announced yesterday that the Liberal government will be introducing Bill C-69-4U2 in the House of Commons next month in order to amend the “Official Languages Act”, which could make the “Gender Neutral Dialect” another official language in Canada.

Most political scientists are saying that the Liberals will probably have the support of the NDP, Green Party and some Conservatives to get Bill C-69-4U2 passed in the parliament.

Once this bill is passed and approved by the Senate as well, the “Gender Neutral Dialect” will become part of the “Official Languages Act” and will be recognized as one of Canada’s official languages, henceforth the new language will be officially called “Transcreepy“.

Transcreepy /tranz ?kr?p?/ adjective: relating to Canada or its people or language. | noun: One of Canada’s official languages, widely used in many varieties throughout the LGBTQRSTUVXZ world community.

After becoming a Canadian official language, Transcreepy will be taught in all daycare facilities, elementary and trades schools, colleges and universities across Canada, including Quebec.

HOW THE NEW LANGUAGE WILL AFFECT CANADIANS

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau told us during an interview that Canada will be investing $3.2 billion on the introduction plan of its new official language. This initial investment will cover expenses such as administrative, infrastructure, educational, promotional and juridical costs necessary to implement all these changes in the public and private sectors, like including the Transcreepy language on the labels of all products made in Canada, road and street signs, Federal Election Leaders’ Debates, government premises, websites and correspondence, among several others. 

All traffic warning signs across Canada will be trilingual. The signs should display all warnings in French, English and Transcreepy, as shown in this picture.

“Oh Lord, as if the French language wasn’t gay enough, now they come up with this?” said uncle J. Billy – retired man & hoarder – Thompson, Manitoba


ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW TO SURVIVE IN THE MODERN WORLD

Well, learning this new language is the easiest part, you can sign up for Transcreepy classes at any public educational facility. Classes are free of charge when you donate any used women’s clothes, a makeup kit or lipsticks to help the Canadian Drag Queen Association in Nova Scotia.

Gender-Neutral Pronouns – Definition & Examples Chart. Click on image to enlarge it.

Learning Transcreepy is not the only thing you need to do in order to survive in this modern world. In reality, the most difficult challenge will be trying to identify the person/people who you are going to use Transcreepy to communicate with. Usually it is easy to identify people who speak other languages by just relying on their physical appearance, for example when you see a white Asian guy eating with chopsticks without dropping the sushi on the table, you will know right away that guy probably speaks Japanese, Chinese or Korean. Or when you go for that morning walk and spot a big nose guy exhibiting feminine mannerisms while holding a fresh baguette under his arm, you know that man speaks French. But turns out to be a whole different ball game and nearly impossible to identify non-binary or gender neutral people who speak Transcreepy, because it doesn’t have anything to do with their appearance. Since you can’t just ask them who or what they are, in order to identify them you will need to be able to read their minds to find out who they “think” they are. “And even if you are able to read their minds and identify them today, tomorrow they might think they are someone else…” says the American illusionist Criss Angel – The Mindfreak.

…in order to identify them you will need to be able to read their minds to find out who they “think” they are.” says the American illusionist Criss Angel – The Mindfreak.

If you are not a mind reader, there is another way to approach them and find out who they “think” they are at that specific moment. First, keep in mind that it’s not a good idea to ask strangers about their pronouns or sexual preferences. Even though it feels like the right thing to do, be aware that you might be asking someone to out themselves as trans, pedo, zoophilic or nonbinary – which they may not feel comfortable doing, depending on the situation. (Imagine having this conversation in a place other than a mental institution.) Instead, you could start a conversation about pronouns by sharing your own: “Hi, I’m Tracy, my pronouns are she/her and I love having sex with younger men.” The first time can be a little awkward, but chances are good that you’re not nearly as socially inept as you believe you are.

"al'ashkhas aldhyn yatahadathun hadhih allughat yastahiquwn qate rawwasihm!"

People who speak this language deserve to have their heads chopped off!” said Khalil Muhammachete – Iman at the Mississauga’s Islamic Centre in Ontario.

Khalil Muhammachete - Iman of the Missisauga's Islamic Centre

Trump calls Trudeau “black-faced”, “scumbag”, “son of Castro”…

The Can News | London, UK

President Donald Trump blasted Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau as “black-faced”, “scumbag”, “son of Castro” on Wednesday after Trudeau was caught on an open mic with other world leaders discussing the NATO meeting in London and referencing Trump’s “orange colour”.

The video, which quickly went viral online, showed Trudeau, British Prime Minister Boris Johnson, French President Emmanuel Moron and others speaking at a Buckingham Palace reception.

The video begins with Johnson looking toward French President Moron and asking, “Why did he miss the Afternoon Tea with the Queen?”

Trudeau jumped in, “He doesn’t do high teas, he is an orange Crush kinda guy… Just like you Boris”. And they all laughed.

After a cut in the footage, Trudeau adds, “He is more orange than you are, Boris. He must eat a lot of Cheetos too…”

He doesn’t do high teas, he is an orange Crush kinda guy… said Trudeau

Orange is the new Black…

“I might be orange, but he sure has a black face” said Trump about Trudeau.

“Well, he’s black-faced, “scumbag” and “son of Castro…” Trump said of Trudeau alongside German Chancellor Angela MarxWell on Wednesday. “And honestly with Trudeau he’s a nice guy, but the truth is he is son of Fidel Castro and I guess he’s not happy about it. I wouldn’t…”

“I am an orange-faced guy and he is a black-faced dude, but that’s the way it is,” Trump said. 


Is the Cuban dictator Fidel Castro the real father of Prime Minister Justin Trudeau?

Watch the video and decide yourself, but we think Trudeau should go on Maury’s TV Show and get DNA tested. Just in case…

Justin Trudeau or Justin Castro? Watch the video and decide yourself.

Trudeau’s New Cabinet: As useless as male nipples

The Can News | Ottawa, ON

Prime Minister Justin Trudeau announced last week the new members of Cabinet following the swearing-in ceremony. The new cabinet is excessively large, useless and not as diverse as you could imagine.

Justin Trudeau pretending he is inspecting the honour guard

Racial and Gender Breakdown of Trudeau’s New Cabinet

Despite its enormous size, the new cabinet not only lacks diversity but also competence. It may look pretty and colourful at first, but 30 out of the 37 ministers are white, and for that reason some critics refer to it as “white-supremacist cabinet”.

Photo: Member of the LGBTQ2STUVXZ community gets angry after learning that Trudeau’s new cabinet is non-inclusive.

The new cabinet is also male-dominated, including 19 men and only 18 women, and if that wasn’t enough there aren’t any gays, transgenders, pedophiles or zoophiles in Trudeau’s cabinet. Unless some of the ministers are still hiding in the closet (or cabinet). The lack of gender diversity in the new cabinet roster had infuriated the LGBTQ2STUVXZ community in Canada.

Even my cabinet is more colourful and inclusive than Trudeau’s… said Leo Varadkar, Ireland’s Prime Minister (photo)

Who’s who in Justin Trudeau’s 2019 cabinet

The Can News has compiled below some facts and curiosities about 16 of the 37 members of cabinet. We didn’t want to waste our time writing about the other 21 ministers. Don’t worry, even Trudeau doesn’t know all of them.

Chrystia Freakland

Minister of Prime Minister’s Short Term Affairs

Her job is to keep all the PM’s short-term extramarital affairs as discreet as possible.

Bill Moroneau

Minister of Finance & Budget Balances Itself

He wasn’t happy leaving Canada with a $19 billion deficit and now he’s back to make it bigger than ever. Damage Level: Woman’s shopping spree

Jessica Yaniv

Minister of the Human Rights Tribunal, Transgenders & Brazilian Wax

The twisted Twitter celebrity brings a complete package for Brazilian Waxing and vast experience in the B.C. tribunals.

LeNoir LeBlanc

Minister of the Queen’s Private Parts Council

He will be performing this important and difficult task, facilitating all Lieutenant Governors’ jobs.

Cunterine McKenna

Minister of Infrastructure and Communities

As the Minister of Climate Change she couldn’t build anything, but now she has the license to build everything she wants (unlimited carbon emissions).

Inspector David Clouseau

Minister of Justice & Attorney General

A decade ago, meningitis left Mr. Clouseau mute, deaf and blind, making him the ideal candidate to replace Jody Wilson-Raybould.

Bardish Kitchendish

Minister of Diversity, Inclusion and Youth

She will make sure that our youth & children are always exposed to diversity and porn at school.

HairHid Shazam!

Minister of International Defence

Once again, his job is to keep Canada’s borders always open and welcoming, and protect international minorities and refugees.

Joyce Betray

Minister of Digital Government

She is in charge of the deep state and the government’s dark web, hiding all criminal and illegal activities the PM is engaged in.

Jean-Yves Saint Laurent

Minister of Wine & Cheese Board

Chef Jean is also an experienced sommelier who takes care of Trudeau’s private parties aboard the  Royal Canadian Air Force jet.

Monalisa Bombardier

Minister of Middle Class Disparity

Getting our middle class even more screwed is part of her game. She’ll increase and introduce new taxes such as incumming tax and bare assets tax.

Pablo Al Pacino

Leader of Government in Hollywood

He is the connection between Trudeau and the climate activist celebrities in Hollywood.

Debit Schulte

Minister of Senior Hoarders

She is the mastermind behind the new tax for seniors. From now on, seniors will be taxed $5 (non-deductible) for every pound of hoarding items.

Climatean Wilkinson

Minister of Environment and Climate Change

He has the impossible mission of fighting a losing battle with mother nature. So he will keep wasting our money attending the Paris Accord meetings.

MarIran Monsef

Minister of Women, Gender Equality, & Rural Economic Development

Her job is to promoting Canadian women migration to rural areas where more development is needed while keeping transgenders safe in the big cities.

Old Red Riding Hood Bennet

Minister of Crown, Bridges & Dentures for Indigenous Communities

Former Minister of Public Health and dentist, Dr. Bennet will take care of our indigenous’ oral health.

BREAKING: Poop Thrower Behind PM’s Blackface Scandal

by The Can News | Toronto, ON | November 27th 2019

Shitzuel Opoku, 28, was arrested near Queen Street West and Spadina Avenue on Tuesday evening, after allegedly throwing multiple buckets of liquefied fecal matter on people over the past few days.

Police say the man threw feces on people inside libraries at both the University of Toronto and York University over the last week.

Police earlier this week released photos of serial shit-thrower Shitzuel Opoku who was arrested on Tuesday evening. – Toronto Police Service

PM Trudeau was his first victim

Shitzuel Opoku also confessed to the Toronto police that his first attack happened several years ago. When he was a kid he threw a bucket full of black shit on young Justin Trudeau’s face. Shitzuel’s mother used to work as a maid for the Trudeau family when the attack took place. Mr. Opoku said the young Justin used to mistreat his mother using racial slurs towards her.

“I threw a lot of my own black shit on his face, so he could feel what’s like to have a black face…” added Mr. Opoku. The incident was not reported to the police at the time because of the fear of political repercussions against the Trudeaus.

Toronto Police released today the “crime blueprint” drawn by Mr. Opoku before attacking Trudeau several years ago.

During an exclusive interview to The Can News today, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau confirmed Shitzuel Opoku’s story and apologized for not telling the truth when the blackface scandal emerged last September.

Trudeau apologizing to Shitzuel for the racial slurs used towards his mother in the past.

“You know, I thought it would be better for my image during the campaign, if I was called ‘blackface racist’ instead of ‘shitface’. Today I regret it, and I appologize for that…” said Mr. Trudeau.

Shitzuel Opoku leaving Toronto Courthouse today after being sentenced to carry out unpaid work at the Toronto Zoo, cleaning up as much as 1,300 pounds of elephant dung a day.
Shitzuel Opoku leaving Toronto Courthouse today after being sentenced to carry out unpaid work at the Toronto Zoo, cleaning up as much as 1,300 pounds of elephant dung a day.